“Why won’t he just surrender to love?”

Is he broken or have you evolved, or ???

“Why won’t he just surrender to love?” she asked… her desire to understand had her in tears.

She ended her pain filled session with “I mean, we’re so good together, I just don’t get it?”.

Hmm, how to answer this without hurting her feelings…

I realized, sadly, pain may be exactly what she needs 🙁

As emotionless as I could, I replied. “Well, your actions turned you from the person he was considering as a life partner, to the person most likely to bring pain and a bad candidate”

She wasn’t seeing the entire picture he was considering:

While she was trying, she was still in the role of “single powerful woman” and he was playing the role of “powerful husband to powerful wife”.

Were there previous things he was still trying to let go of?

Is he conscious enough to see himself for who he truly is?

Is she conscious enough to see herself for who she truly is?

If they were married, would this be good marriage behavior?

Is one or both able to see their partner better than that person can see themselves?

When someone is seeking a “Life Partner”, it’s different than dating for the sake of companionship or temporary pleasure.

To make it more challenging, when you date someone who’s done deep inner work, they possess the ability to see into the depths of your soul and journey.

Be prepared, they’re likely gonna see things you’re still hiding from yourself. And they’re probably NOT going to tell you about every single sign that comes up. It’s YOUR journey, not theirs.

If you meet a good listener.

He’s most likely not speaking because he’s actually listening. He’s listening to you, your pains, your story and he’s also determining if you’re the one he wants beside him for his life journey.

What do you have in common? What are each of you carrying into the relationship? What baggage are each of you bringing (don’t say none, that’s a lie. We all have baggage, some just have barbed wire bags while others have soft, rose petal bags).

Ask yourself a very important question.

When you talk to your partner in casual conversation, does one of you do most of the talking?

I’ve observed that if conversation is overly lopsided, the one doing the talking can easily bond to the listener. They are healing deeper wounds around being heard and finding someone who actually listens nowadays is becoming rarer and rarer. Finally being seen and heard can be intoxicating to the person with this wound. This of course only applies if he or she is actually listening. Thumbing on a phone, computer or any other mental activity while chatting, isn’t listening, it’s disrespectful.

Being in the presence of your partner and giving them partial attention speaks to your priorities.

Yes, I know, everyone does it.

Yes, I know, I’m old school.

Yes, I know you may both love TikTok.

Yes, the ramifications are not immediate.

None of this changes the fact that, in most cases, these behaviors tell your partner clearly where they stand in your priority list.

Sadly, today most people have deeper relationships with their phones than their lovers or their children.

“But wait! What about unconditional love?” you ask?

“Isn’t he supposed to love her no matter what and not try to control her behavior!?”

Simply put, YES!

He or she should and nothing I’ve said here takes away from that 🙂

He or she should also decide what behavior patterns they want in a partner for the rest of their lives. In this case, he recognized a behavior that he didn’t want as a part of his vision for his life.

Bottom line…

If you want to marry a King. Be the Queen!

If you want to marry a Queen, Be the King!

With a dwindling supply of true Kings and Queens and an abundance of Jokers, it’s time to get serious about which you want to represent and to start carrying yourself as such.

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