Lost Your Drive & Desire… You’re not alone!


I’ve been on a personal journey for a couple decades now. One that involved me diving into the depths of who “Mike” actually is. It’s definitely reshaped my understanding of drive, desire, and love. 

Honestly, some would call my entire experience an “existential crisis” and label it some mid-life event. The truth is, our children are experiencing this same thing in their teens and twenties! They’re more spiritually aware and are “waking up” fast. But not like the label being used to create more division. Waking up is about eliminating ALL divisions. Not creating more.  

But what does all this have to do with Drive & Desire?

As my journey continued, a deep peace and surrender enveloped my entire being. The end result was a total lack of attachment to everything except my wife and daughter. Nothing held value to me but them. 

While this part of the process was necessary, it left me feeling unanchored and adrift in the physical world. It was as if the very essence of who I was had been stripped away, leaving me in a state of “meh”.

Not the blissful love and permanent state of joy described by so many. Things just were. I eventually discovered I was actually suffering grief. Not from the loss of my wife, which also happened in this period, that’s a separate conversation. I was experiencing grief and loss of the old self. 

The “Mike” that was perpetually happy was gone. The version of me who enjoyed teaching, sharing, and who saw the best in the world had died long before my love. I was grieving for my lost self. I had rejected him to embrace my “future self”. After all, future self looked so cool, helped more people, and was much more chill. 

Then something occurred to me…

You know what, he’s also kinda boring!  

I realized I was holding judgment for my future self. Yeah, sounds crazy, but it’s true! I was thinking “Oh I’d love to be him!” and also “oh please don’t let me be him”.

Goals are funny that way. We often hold a duality around them. This is the core of my CEO coaching. I help reveal the dualism in the CEO so they are able to move into their highest point of service. It’s just something I’ve never done for myself. 

Once I accepted that neither of “me” had to be killed off, I realized I was taking all this shit way too seriously. Then beauty unfolded.  

My grief ended. Even the grief of my love who I had only lost months prior. How is that possible? I honestly don’t know. I can feel her guiding me as I started to accept all for what it was and is. 

But this time, I accepted without judgment for myself. All versions of the self.

I found an opportunity and the ability to listen to the universe through the wind. 

I began to understand the loss of my drive and desire was not a loss at all, it was a clearing of space for something more profound and meaningful to emerge. It was the void needed for deep contemplation and integration.

As I’ve started to follow the prompts of the universe in my heart, my drive and desire has returned! 

This time though, they’re not deeply rooted in ego or self-interest. Instead, they are aligned with a higher purpose, a flow the universe is guiding me towards.  I would say this same thing, but the truth was, if I didn’t like it, I didn’t do it. 

Being honest, my ego self doesn’t want to do any of this. My small self would be happy to rock on a chair at my cabin in the woods and be in blissful love again. It’s my preferred state of being. But oddly enough though, I’m actually super excited to serve! It’s odd to say the least. 

I am being called to share 

To teach others how to give and receive love

To be silly, stupid, nerdy, smart and dumb.
To be angry, wrong, lazy, and every state

All without judgment for myself and to accept my calling. 

To be pure love

A calling of love that encompasses all aspects of life, including how we love our children, our businesses and our customers. Love is of course not specific to our intimate partners. 

Love is a way of being. It’s an energy we can bring to every interaction, every task, and every moment of life.

My previous judgment for my “business self” and the sheer boredom with marketing has been replaced with the desire to help ensure love becomes the foundation of business, not money. Money will show up, it always does. It’s the return energy from loving those you serve in business.  

In our relationships with our children, it shows up as patience, understanding, and the nurturing of their unique spirits. It’s getting clarity on the lessons we’re here to learn from our kids. The acceptance that our children are the ultimate mirror of truth for us.

In our partnerships, it blossoms into mutual respect, deep connection, and shared growth by understanding the reasons our two souls have chosen to unite. (it’s very rarely for a hollywood ending, and usually involves Karmic growth)

I’m sharing this with you today because I believe this journey towards love is not just my journey, but ours as a collective. It is a path that we are ALL invited to walk, a path leading to a more compassionate, loving, and harmonious world.

I invite you to join me on this journey. Let us explore together how we can bring more love into our lives, our work, and our relationships. Let us discover how, through love, we can find a drive and desire that’s not only fulfilling, but also serves our higher purpose.

Thank you for taking the time to read, I know this is long, but it’s about the shortest I could make it for something that took decades to experience.

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