Crystal, Nicole and I sat at a large 15 person dinner table in the cruise dining hall.

There was a lot of casual conversation and I loved asking people about themselves. So I really enjoyed those Marketers Cruises, if you want to join me on one, PM me.

Anyhow, I asked the person next to me my normal barrage of questions: “what work were your parents in as you grew up”. “What’s your favorite song”, and “what’s your favorite movie”?

Asking questions and listening to the depths of their shares is a passion of mine. You learn so much when you listen to AND between their words.

The person next to us overheard our conversation and excitedly chimed in with their favorite movie. Turns out, people love to share their favorite movie. They get very passionate!

Before I knew it, we were going around the table and everyone was sharing their favorite movie.

That’s when it happened.

It got to Daven.

The second Daven spoke, I experienced a rush of knowing and truth. Scenes flooded my mind and I just knew.

“Your favorite movie is a literal reflection of your heart’s desire, your self view and what you are holding on to the most in life.”

How did Daven help unlock this?

His favorite movie was “Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory”. Daven was dressed exactly like willy wonka! He was in a purple felt suit and everything! I had just watched a video of Daven days before where he was doing a song and dance number with his staff. I remembered thinking, wow this guy is a little off. I like it!

Every choice he made that I had observed, fit into this narrative. He was literally creating his own reality in the way he wanted. What a powerful way to live!

With this new knowledge, I went back through the table and shared my findings. Explaining what their movie actually meant to them from a psychological point of view.

Everyone was floored. I was floored! Is this why I have seen so many movies? I’ve literally watched nearly every movie that someone gives me. Only a few times have I not, but when I end up watching it, there is a HUGE reveal into their mind.

I played back all the favorite movies in my life and watched the stages of my development and my own inner needs shine through like a bat signal in the sky. So obvious and so transparent that anyone who even bothered to look up would see it.

Here’s how this works:

1. Most of the time, the primary character in the movie is you

2. If not, them, choose who you are bonded to

3. The challenge they experience, is how you see yourself NOW.

(even if it’s something you dealt with in the past, you may be stuck in the past)

4. The outcome that they experience is what you want in life.

5. The details of the journey can be important, pay attention

6. The movie will change over time ( if you change, if it doesn’t, then you either don’t like, or want change)

7. It’s not black and white! You have to dig deep into the underlying story to get the truth.

At one point, I was hired by a group of men in the diet industry. They doubted my ability, so I did this exercise with them. 3 of 5 had the SAME favorite movie! They were blown away by that coincidence. What mattered was the movie. Shawshank Redemption. I built the correlation for them because it was not obvious. Every one of them felt separate from society. Imprisoned for their beliefs in a world that accused them unfairly. I mean, it gets insanely deep when you really study this like I have.

For transparency, here is my list of favorite movies in my life, see if you can tell what they meant for me over the years: (I can go over all of these, but this email is already pretty long)


The Muppet Movie

THE DRUNK PERIOD: (before 2000)

Pulp Fiction

THE DESIRE FOR LOVE PERIOD: (most before I met Crystal)

What dreams may come

City of Angels

The Family Man



Pay It Forward

The Matrix






Branded (russian film)


About Time


Notice that in the end, my two favorite movies now, do NOT have an antagonist? The only antagonist is the self of the character and both are about the choice of love and being, above all else.


Try this on…

For a LONG time, my favorite actress was Meg Ryan. Now, when I watch any movie of hers, I see the pattern that was so obvious. She rejects in every movie (including city of angels). She pushes away, then after the man has proven himself, she surrenders to love. Wow! How had I not seen that before? I was attracted to women who rejected me! Meg was the embodiment of that push away and my view that I had to earn a woman’s love. I, you, me… we do not need to earn love. Love is our right and our blessing. It should be given freely and in abundance. There are many parts of a relationship that need to be earned, but love is not one of them.

Crystal was the first woman to break that pattern.

I was in plenty of abusive relationships before my love and every one of them embodied that Meg Ryan energy. But Crystal, she loved me from the day we met. She was my Tea Lioni in “The Family Man”. She was perfectly loving, supportive, and strong with healthy boundaries for us. However, if I had wanted to get a new job, move, and uproot our family for my own personal need, she would do it! She would choose us, always! And so would I. Right till the end. There was not a week that went by where she didn’t hear “I choose us” from me. And not a day that went by when she didn’t hear and feel my love. I didn’t need “Meg rejection”, I needed Tea support.

Are you able to see any of this for yourself?

What’s your favorite movie?

Is there a favorite actor that you like? If so, what does that archetype mean to you?

IMPORTANT. I’ve now used this technique for over 14 years. It’s changed many lives, but you have to be careful. Some may need professional help to process the depths of things the subconscious mind keeps locked away. So please. Do NOT go willy nilly into the night 🙂 Be cautious and smart about how you use this tool.

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