The Green M&M’s


Over the decades I’ve been elated to help couples remember why they chose each other after the honeymoon period has melted away. 

Like an M&M held in the hands too long, the color has started to  wash away. The sweat of the relationship’s fire is just too much. The more fire, the faster that melting effect. 

Some focus on getting the color washed from their hands as fast as possible, screaming “you changed!”. They look for something to wipe the guilt or displeasure away. 

Others try feverishly to cool their hands to stop the melting. Even others try to put the color back onto the M&M, crying that they should have done something differently. 

This is obviously futile. 

Once that color is off, it’s not going back on, we all know that. The candy you loved, is now changed forever. The shine and color you knew, has been permanently erased.

But is the candy actually any different? 

The color holds no flavor? 

It’s only an external dressing you used to attract your mate… green? brown? Does it matter? What holds the flavor, and what holds your heart, is on the inside! The candy is actually no different.  

Funny thing about relationships. 

As an M&M, we can choose to change our color any time we want! I’ve seen couples get together for the entire purpose of helping each other lose that initial color. Paving the way for them to repaint themselves as they like. This was my wife and I. We repainted our shells constantly and held space and support for that. 

Real romance isn’t about Hollywood endings. 

Arguably, soul’s don’t incarnate so we can stay exactly the same our entire life. I believe we are here to help our partners evolve, to love them as they do, and to serve the same role for each other. Protector, lover, friend, support system, life partner, god or goddess, parent, mirror, and teacher. 

Are there any you can think of that should be added?

So… if you’ve been with a green M&M that wants to be brown, how can you help him or her? 

If he/she chooses to not hold any color, how can you bear witness to the transformation and support a no-shine reality? 

It’s time to be honest with yourself and your partner and to be the person you want to be in a relationship with. This was my key to my own marriage. Not a key I used 100% of the time if I’m honest, but when I did, it was the key to mutual happiness. 🙂

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