They started slowly, and over time, but they changed my life.
MESSAGE #1 – Quit lying to yourself.
I was excited and nervous about my first public presentation I was about to give.
It was 1999 and I’d been dating on the internet for a couple years. After falling madly in love with a wonderful woman named Annie and asked her to join me in Boulder, Colorado for my presentation. (this was before my true love Crystal). I was so proud of Annie, proud of myself for being asked to speak, and just very happy with my life.
It was my turn to speak next and I started to get nervous. A hug from Annie was the only thing I wanted. I left the meeting space and went to my hotel room where she was waiting.
As I opened the door and walked into the hallway of my room, I could feel it…
Something wasn’t right.
Rounding the corner to the bed, she looked up at me, corded phone pressed against her ear. The look on her face was something I’d seen before. She was not being faithful… Shit!
“Who’s that on the phone?” I demanded, already knowing the answer.
“It’s Brian” she replied softly. Guilt dripped from her lips.
Brian was a guy from before “us”. In our past conversations about him, he was a seriously broken man.
In a single moment, my entire world changed.
A moment that would’ve never happened if I’d walked in just a minute later.
I was hit with an instant awakening. All the patterns were instantly visible. Hers, mine, everything. The entire hard truth of romance.
She wanted to fix men, and I was craving love from women who were not unable to give it to just one man. We were co-dependent.
Something like, “Pack your shit and leave before I get back from speaking.” was all I could say. I honestly don’t remember exactly, I was so hurt and so angry that I don’t remember what came out of my mouth. I’m sure I said some hurtful stuff.
The new neural connection formed in my brain that day was so intense it directed the rest of my life.
I would never be that fool again.
I would never ignore the signs, the truth, the gaslighting, none of it. I knew she was like this, and I ignored it. Her inner child was thirsting for both love and rejection. Love I was happy to provide, but rejection, I just couldn’t. Well, not until that pivotal moment. We were done.
My presentation went exceptional. No nervousness, only strength. I did however have regrets. Maybe I was too harsh? Maybe I should have given her another chance? Oh hell no, I did the right thing. Something better was going to come.
After my talk, an Indian man approached with the scariest smile I’d ever seen. Part stalker, part saint… all weirdo.
MESSAGE #2 – The teachers there when you’re ready
“Even if you’ve never met your guru, your guru is there” – Ram Dass
Only an hour after my heart break, this creepy guy looked at me with his piercing gaze and spoke – “Mike, that was a wonderful presentation. You are a very rare soul”. Oh that’s nice, but maybe try saying that without that weird smirk , I thought…
I spoke.. “well thank you, I deeply appreciate that”.
He continued – “You know Mike, we have been friends a very long time and it’s so nice to meet you again for the first time”.
OK, this man is bat shit crazy I thought. Nice, but definitely crazy. Just be cool.
“Oh yeah? It’s nice to meet you too, what’s your name?” I replied.
“I’m known as John Harricharan” he responded while taking my hand into both of his hands, and then bowing his head to me. At the time, this was super weird.
We spoke at length and he told me about the books he’d written. One book, “When you can walk on water, take the boat”, sounded interesting, but I didn’t read at that time. He suggested I buy it, but reading wasn’t my thing.
The event ended, we parted ways, and I thought nothing else of it.
MESSAGE #3 – When God Winks, wink back!
Months passed and my soon to be wife Crystal and I were taking a trip to Ferndale California. We loved to travel and explore small towns.
After getting settled into our room, Crystal wanted to take a walk through town. I wasn’t into it, but reluctantly agreed, and we went to check out the theater we had come to visit.
After admiring the beautiful theater in town, we started to explore the quant shops in the area.
As we walked past an old book store, I felt an uncontrollable urge to go inside. This was odd. I’d only read a handful of books during the previous 10 years, but the feeling was overwhelming.
I told Crystal I wanted to go inside and after giving me a surprised look, she was more than happy to go in.
I was pulled, like a magnet to the left. Directly past one of those rolling book cards and to one shelf. TO ONE BOOK!
What the heck is going on?! My heart stopped.
When you can walk on water, take the boat – John Harricharan.
This obscure, thin, ugly little book was sitting right in front of me. I would’ve never given what I thought was a “Jesus focused book” a second thought. After my catholic school trauma I still didn’t believe in God, religion, church or any of that “nonsense”.
But here it was in front of me.
The odds were just impossible.
Unable to deny this “coincidence”, I bought the book. Sure, I could walk away, but this was just too much… even for a non-believer.
When I got back to the room I started reading and was instantly hooked.
The book was exactly what I needed. A wonderful story that brought together God, Jesus, Coincidence, Misery, Pleasure, Business and even aliens! All of it.
It was like he wrote it just for me.
NOTE: Aliens had been a HUGE sticking point for me after being scolded by the nuns for even asking about them. I could not understand the belief that with 100-200 billion galaxies, only this one galaxy (milky way) and only this one planet in just this galaxy sustained life.
The book and the coincidences were getting to be too much. I had to recognize that maybe there was a higher force at play here. Maybe my life was truly a string of wonderful synchronicities.
John and I became good friends and he helped me in so many ways. We will talk more about him and the other synchronicities soon.
For now, just ask yourself:
Are you willing to look for those times when God winks?
Are you willing to take action when it happens?
Are you willing to be the weird “John” for someone else?
Remember, sometimes you are the person receiving, and sometimes, you’re the weirdo reflection of the divine.
For those who know, it’s impossible not to sound crazy after you can see the layers of this universe.
Plato was right. The cave is real.
Dedicated to the memory of my friend and brother, John Harricharan.