The Soulmate Contract… we’ve been lied to!


To give love, be loved and to demonstrate love is something we deeply enjoy. You’re reading this means we have a lot in common, so love must be in your soul.  

What you may not know, is that my love and I had a rocky start. 

We were on and off again for years before finally getting married. Crystal knew from the day we met, we were going to be married. I, however, was not convinced. 

There were things I didn’t like when we first met. I didn’t feel like my best self when I was with her. 

During the last of our “on and off again” break ups, I took a trip to Hawaii. I had to energetically disconnect from everything. A get away and some meditation was needed.

At the time, in early 2001 I was studying metaphysics, working to increase my intuition and was constantly meditating. Once my psychic ability started to unfold, it was quite addicting. 

I was doing some personal timeline work, going through the events for the next decade and something very unexpected happened. In every single event, she was there. Any achievement, any obstacle, every little event! There she was, being supportive, caring, listening and being awesome.

What the holy hell? She wasn’t like the person in my meditations at all! 

I’d been interviewing women for the position of “Soulmate” on my journey. 

I was not interviewing for the role of  “piss off all my friends” or “get angry at me for stupid shit” mate. I was looking for the mother of my baby angel. My perfect lover.

As it turned out, there was more to be revealed.

When I arrived on the mainland I immediately visited a friend who was a master psychic. She reads for celebrities, officials and more. When I told her about my meditation experience on the island, my friend simply closed her eyes, fluttered her eyelids for a moment, then said with her chipper Carol Kane replica voice  “Oh Mike, she IS your soulmate!”. “This woman will help you grow more than you can ever imagine”.

“Impossible”, I thought to myself. She has to be wrong! Soulmates were supposed to bring your pure love and blissful happiness? 

I was kinda pissed. 

Where was my “boundless love and deep romance”? 

While I’d never felt it in my life, I was looking forward to that experience with my soulmate, and I knew I was going to find her! 

I’ve  always known. 

At the time, my favorite movies were Don Juan Demarco, and What Dreams May Come. If you know me and the movie thing, you know what these movies meant for my psyche. 

Well of course, she wasn’t wrong. 

Meditation after meditation I would see myself closer and closer with Crystal. I was left with no choice. I had to get her back.

Unfortunately, she had a boyfriend, so I had to honor that…

…or did I? They weren’t married!

Movies and society teach a narrative that is total bullshit. You get to create your rules when it comes to love. Most people are so afraid of being alone that they stay in vanilla relationships forever and live just one grand gesture or bold step away from the life they actually want. Well, I wasn’t about to let this “soulmate life” get away! Even if it was one to be filled with painful lessons, painful growth and loss I could never imagine. 

I called her up on the phone as I sat in front of the psychics house. 

I started off smooth and classy… 

“Look, you gotta dump Kevin. You know we’re supposed to be together, and now, I do too! I’m sorry it took me so long. Also, I told you Kevin wanted to be with you! (we had broken up once because of her friendship with him, and I wanted to rub that shit in… I could be an ass and still can be)” yup, classy. (thank God texting didn’t exist yet, I would have blown that for sure)

“I’m not leaving Kevin. You had your chance” she replied. She was always more mellow, tempered, calm and logical. I was always the one to get upset first.

Yeah, that was it. That’s all she said.

“OK look, can you at least meet me for dinner and we can talk about it?” I pleaded. There was a series of long pauses and she finally caved. Funny how certain memories can last forever and others fade away within seconds. I remember it all like it was yesterday. I remember how pretty she was when she walked in, how her smell would drive me crazy, and how while I tried to be classy, she actually was class! I had to have her back. I could not live without her in my life. Not an option. 

Her conditions were simple.

She would dump Kevin and give us another try if I would get rid of my place, move in with her and stop smoking weed. I hesitated for a second as I thought of losing my single life. Things were about to get totally different. But she’s the one…“DONE!”.

I had fantasized about the romances seen in my favorite movies, but it didn’t look like I was gonna get it.  She was my destiny and I was all in for whatever that meant. As life would have it, I got all of my wishes and more by recognizing the soul in front of me and embodying our soulmate contract. 

She became my greatest teacher, lover, student, mother and my best friend. We traveled, loved, played, learned and within a year we were married. During that time, I quit drinking too. Why would I want to escape my life? It was epic and she was epic! She deserved better.

The night of our wedding, during our first dance as husband and wife, she whispered in my ear “I stopped taking my birth control, you can have your baby now”. I cried instantly and Nicole was born exactly 9 months later, a product of pure and boundless love. 

I look back at our photos and I’m floored by her pure beauty. She was and will always be the most beautiful woman in the world to me. 

Soulmates are not always what we’re shown in movies and books. Most romance movies are based on codependence, not love. Very rarely will you find a love story founded in the truth of Karmic relationships. 

Why is this person in your life? 

Why are you in theirs? 

Is it for a short time, or a long one? 

These are things that don’t get properly represented in the normal story arcs. 

Because of our mutual understanding of the roles we played in each other’s lives, my wife and I were able to have a fantastic relationship. Don’t get me wrong, we fought when our ego’s refused to learn from each other, but in the end, we always saw the real meaning and grew. 

She was a better person than me. She saw the depths of the broken man in front of her and also the angel inside of me. She chose me when I had only a mattress with no sheets. She chose the drunk fool who had so much ego to shed. She chose the tough job of guiding me into the man I am today. My only sadness is that she is not able to be here now to appreciate the spoils of a lifetime invested in helping me to become a better person. 

As she guides me to write to you now, there is just one question to ask.

Are you sleeping next to the best teacher, lover, student and friend you could ever ask for but just not seeing it? Examine your soulmate contract and give thanks for why this person is there for you and why you’re there for them. 

P.S. Thank you to my local friends who inspired me to keep writing. I was considering stopping until your kind and brave words inspired me to continue. To honor your privacy I won’t name names, but you know who you are and I love you both. 

Also, you can probably tell, I’m not a great editor or writer, I simply put down what flows. So, thanks for reading even when it’s hard to follow! 🙂

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