“You never listen!” – has this every happened?


The key to finding or being happy in a relationship.

About 2 years ago, my wife and I were having some communication struggles. 

We would get into an argument over something silly and I couldn’t understand how she couldn’t see the bigger picture of the argument. It was an ongoing frustration for me. 

Because she wasn’t understanding my points or that bigger picture, I assumed it was just her Aries moon showing up. (oh yes, that’s a thing, and I’ll cover more on this tomorrow). While it was a struggle for me, I knew I was to learn patience, and to see the reflection for myself. 

When I say it bothered me, it really bothered me! I felt unheard, unappreciated, and it was one of the few remaining triggers that actually made me genuinely upset. 

One day, that all changed and I was hit with another “instant awakening”. 

I had been studying at the local college with Carla Hannaford P.H.D on something called “brain dominance” and how it relates to our psyche. 

Turns out, the dominant Hand, Eye, Foot & Ear we had in the womb, are directly related to our abilities under high stress. So, the brain dominance you have now, and the Hand, Foot, Ear & Eye you reveal were dominant in the womb, dictate many things.

Whatever your current brain dominant side is, if in the womb your dominant item is on that same side, you will not have the same access to “function” that you normally would under high stress. 

Each items core function (simplified):

Eyes – See the bigger picture

Hands – Communicate clearly

Foot – Move forward in the moment/life

Ear – Hear the whole story/detail

So, if you are right brained like me and IN THE WOMB, you were also right handed, then you would have issues communicating under high stress. Remember though, this is high stress.

Initially in class, I of course disagreed with my PHD teacher because I started to experience light stress and this was not at all my experience in life. Carla replied, “under high stress, someone with the same hand and the same brain sides, is likely to end up lashing out physically at some point”. She prompted me “did you ever punch walls, or lose it when you got too stressed”? OK lady, that’s just creepy. As a child, before I would punch walls like it was a contest! Now as I’ve aged, I never get angry or that “high stressed”. But she was right!   

MY WIFE’S NOT APPEARING TO UNDERSTAND ME: My wife was left brained. She was also left eye, left foot, right ear, and right hand in the womb. So under times of high stress, my wife would literally lose her ability to “see the bigger picture” (same side eye), she would lose her ability to “move forward” (same side foot), but she kept her ability to “communicate” (opposite side hand), and she would actually be able to hear, (opposite side ear).. 

Wo wait! That meant that my wife was actually hearing me. She just wasn’t able to process what was being said until her stress lowered! She was also not able to “move forward” while under high stress. And guess what my constant prompts for her to understand me were doing? They were keeping her in a stressful situation. OH my gosh, I was the problem! If I wanted my love to understand, see the bigger picture and be able to move forward, my only job was to be sure that I kept her out of a stressful situation, at least where I was concerned. 

My new view changed the way I communicated with my love.

I’m right brain, left eye, left foot, left ear and right hand. So under high stress, I only lose my ability to communicate. (now rather than lashing out, I just go quiet) Again, at low stress, I hyper communicate to avoid going into high stress. It’s a coping mechanism I’ve learned over the years. It keeps me from high stress. It’s also why most people think I’m left brained, when in truth, I could care less about details. 

So in the end, I learned a very valuable lesson about being in a healthy relationship. Don’t try to change your partner, and if you don’t know what makes them who they are, find out! 

It’s our job! Relationships are about committing to each other. Not committing only when it’s convenient. From that moment on, I committed to helping to lower my love’s stress by always communicating clearly, calmly, and with love, about everything! I communicated so much with her, and so often, that it always took her off guard. Eventually she asked me to cut back on all the details for her, and we found a happy medium 🙂 

If you would like to apply this to a current relationship, or possibly a new one, I highly encourage you to do so, and here’s how:

1. Watch this video to see Carla showing an example of muscle testing (cued for you)

2. Watch part two of this video to determine your in utero dominance

3. Start to apply this knowing to yourself first

4. Have your partner or anyone else do this, and learn to communicate better 🙂 

There’s a LOT more to it than this, but you will get the point and I promise you, if you use this, you will have a better understanding of your partner and yourself. 


Part 2

Share the Post:

Related Posts